Catch me if you can

All right, so apparently those detective guys and my world's Stripe found the asshole who set us up. Jim something. Sounded like a televangelist's name, anyway. Turns out he brainwashed some other green bird into helping him. Anyway, we're all in the clear now. So you'd think I'd be free to plan our next job, right?

Wrong. Now I'm fucking molting, and it looks like the others up here are about to do the same. And since I've been a lazy-ass when it came to training the newbies, I can't even ask them to go in our place. I just hope the funds'll hold until this stops.

Fuck. Fuckity fuckity fuck.

Sheesh, what a day. I was finally feeling better, so I went on a store run with Storm earlier. On the way back, this pair of reptiles and a hyperactive bee kid stop us, accusing us of being that thief on the news I mentioned the other day, the one that killed some guards! They said there were green feathers at the crime scene. I was about to say something, but then Storm cut me off by thinking out loud, "How could the boss do that when he was home feeling bad--

but boss, i relly said "leevin snotty tissues on th florr"

sk;hfklsdhfa;sDamn it, Storm! Quit messing with my com

But you were leaving tissues all over the place, o fearless leader. ~v~

... note to self, edit this out after they leave. Anyway, as I was saying, the lizard wasn't buying it, but the... alligator? Crocodile? I can't tell the difference. Anyway, their big guy was a different story. It looked like he might've believed Storm. I told him that even on the odd chance they were my feathers, the Babylon Rogues don't kill. We gotta knock some heads around sometimes, but we don't kill anyone. We got a code, after all.

We started to go, but the lizard tried to stop us. He's apparently some kind of ninja wannabe. So, I did what anyanime nerd skjfh;dsfWAVE!one would do when faced with a ninja: I asked if he knew the Sexy Jutsu. He stammered and turned bright red. I mean his entire body went from pinkish-purple to red. I wonder if he could turn a certain shade of blue... That gave us the chance to get the hell out of there.

Damn it all, I guess now we're going to have to do some investigations of our own about this thief, if he's trying to ruin our reputation. No one smears the Babylon Rogues and gets away with it!

Hmph. I almost got through winter without getting a cold. Almost. Now I'm sniffling and coughing and freezing and I want a hedgehog. XvX

Huh. This is the third or fourth time the news mentioned someone (or someones?) stealing a bunch of machine components. Whoever they are, they seem to have fucked up this time; some security guards ended up dead. I'd hate to be them right now; the cops are gonna chase 'em even harder now.

... huh, should probably plan a job sometime soon. Maybe after the cold medicine stop making me feel funny...

I just realized something. Spike and I were supposed to have ourselves a little race, oh, a few months shy of a year ago, and we still haven't had it yet. I still remember the bet, too. You'd look really good in lace, Spike. ^v^ Maybe I should drag Mr. Hermit out of his cave so we can finally see who's better.

Hmph. Jaqi's getting a bit stir-crazy again. She can't go out because of the cold, so she's been bugging pretty much everyone that she can just so she won't be bored. I guess I should stop Wave chasing her around with a wrench...

Why is it that every time I stop checking Livejournal, that's when all the antics and WTFery start cropping up and when I return, I'm left wondering, "the hell?"

I decided to check out the Garden some on my own before bringing guests. It's really an amazing place... Hard to believe I thought it was just a made-up story when I saw it up close like that.

Spike, Pink? I sent along something special to the both of you. Nothing for you at the moment, Stripe; I wasn't sure if you were home yet and didn't want yours to die before you saw it. Jaqi says she'll make sure it stays alive here until you return. Although personally, I don't think she wants to let it go.

I really should get back to work. I have to figure out our next job over here...

Spike, Stripe, got somewhere I want to show you. Please reply.

...

Junior, you were right. The Garden does exist.

Holy shit, it's real.

Tonight's job nearly landed us in handcuffs and not in the good way, but the payoff was worth it. I've almost achieved my goal. Now come the hard part... Maybe I should just be straight up this time. If I try the sneaky approach, I'm going to have some very powerful people pissed off at me. It's bad enough the Spike in my world still wants to cream me; I don't need more of this. Dad would probably disapprove of going the legit route for this if he were still alive, though... But I got to do what I got to do.

I'm not sure if I should be pleased there really is a place named "Sand Ruins" because it saved me some time searching, or still mock the person who came up with the name for being really, really, really uncreative. I'll admit it's an apt description, but come on, that name couldn't be any more pathetic if it tried.

"Sand Ruins". Honestly.

I should get back to my research...

^v^

Baby blue suits you, Stripe. ^v^

... hedgehog got the jump on me... Okay, fine, so Stripe can catch me. Still, can't keep me if I don't want to be kept.

... didn't mind being kept...

Damn it, it's bad enough what the cuffs do to me, did he have to give me that "cat that ate the canary" look and hksl;dfh;skdfkjsdg that might be enough in of itself to keep me on the bottom. So help me, I will get the jump on him someday...

No more typing now. Wrists still hurt...

It's been weird lately. First I finally get Spike to think like a Rogue which surprised the hell out of me. Wrist hurt for days afterwards..., then I met that echidna from the bizarro future world and then showed Spike a thing or two ^v^, and now, somehow, the damned pincushion's somehow got me doing his damned math homework for him. I must be losing my touch; that's the only explanation. I'm going to have to regain my edge if I want to remain number one thief in the skies!

Oh, and hey, Pink? When's your birthday, anyway? That other Stripe talking made me think about it. We should do something special for it.

I was out getting groceries today. The cashier had to change the roll of paper for the register and told me, "Sorry, this will take a minute, Mr. Duck."

"Mr. Duck". Do I look like a duck to any of you? I'm a fucking bird of prey, not something you feed bread at a pond! See this beak? It's sharp! It ain't made for shifting in mud for bugs or whatever the fuck ducks do! Honestly, what are they teaching in schools nowadays? You'd think people could tell species apart...

"Mr. Duck". Unbelievable.

So. There's a pixy sitting on top of the screen, looking down at what I'm typing. To my left, a mini-rose plant and African violets. Damn it, Spike's hard to refuse when he's fanboying like that. At least the newest little Rogue, Jaqi, seems like she'll be a useful addition to the team. From what I looked up, tampering with security systems seems to be a specialty of her kind. I guess she's kind of cute, too. I just wish she'd stop trying to braid my feathers.

Got to teach Jaqi a few things, though. No one starts off on our calibre, after all. I got to start with the basics and have her work her way up from there.

But she really is the cutest fucking thing ever. And if you ever tell anyone I said this, I will deny it fervently.

Why am I in what looks to be a church? And how did my feathers end up getting braided? Did that have to do with the tiny kids with wings who were napping on me when I woke up? What the hell did I do last night?

...

...

...fuck, Spike was right. About the vampire chick and the leggy redhead. And now these overgrown fireflies won't leave me alone, and this one little girl one is asking if I have any plants at home that need tending to. She thinks I'm funny.

Damn it, my head is pounding and I didn't see any aspirin in the house. What the hell kind of house doesn't have aspirin or Tylenol or something?

Huh? Oh, the vampire chick is behind me and she doesn't seem happy. Guess this is her computer. Got to go.

Fucking air pirates, trying to muscle in on my turf. Metal City belongs to the Babylon Rogues, not some mangy furball with a bad accent! And then Carnage had the gall to hit on my hedgehog when we were trying to negotiate some terms for sharing airspace. So, I threw him out. He was obviously planning something underhanded involving Spike, I just know it, and I wasn't going to stand for it. Damned air pirates better not show their ugly mugs in my territory again, or I'll have to make sure they won't be back again.

Wave and Storm are going to...

... fine. Wave, Storm, and Storm's stupid mutt Sprinkles are going to keep watch Happy now, Storm? Now quit reading over my shoulder. while I take Spike to that place he's been bugging me about. He still swears that chick at Pizza Piscary's a pureblood vampire. I think it's crazy, but if it'll make him happy to go there... He's like a big kid sometimes. It's pretty cute, now that I think about it.

Damned hedgehog. Spike went on about this book he was reading where a vampire ran a pizzaria with the same name as one in town and now I've got this nagging feeling this one regular of the place, who I swear was looking at me kind of funny, was wondering if hawk blood was tasty. Damn it, vampires don't exist, much less run pizzarias! Even if the regular was a dead ringer for a character in Spike's book! I gotta get this nonsense out of my head.

I got a date with Pink (lovelessrose, not the singer) in a little while. I should get ready.

I've been wondering about Spike's world's Rogues. Everything I've heard about them points to them being grade-A assholes--yes, I'm aware of the irony of me calling someone an asshole, but they're supposed to be worse than me--but I want to see it with my own eyes. Are they really as classless and cruel as I've heard, or is there something more going on there than meets the eye? Maybe I'll seek them out next time I'm in Spike's world...

( I do NOT make Dr. Furter look tame, damn it! )